I’m sorry for quitting.
I’m sorry for letting my selfish discouragement affect my responsibilities.
I’m sorry for abandoning the greatest community I’ve ever been lucky enough to be a part of.
These words, now off my chest and living on a page, are full of vulnerability. Not just because I’m not a writer, but also because they make me nervous about the past, present, and future.
As many of you have probably noticed, there has been no activity on any of our social media sites for several months. If you would like to know why, continue reading; if not, just know that things are about to change!
Last fall, there was a lot going on in my life. After starting Artfully Seeking on June 29, 2016 so many incredible opportunities quickly arose. I didn’t realize that my small idea would touch the hearts of (and dare I say, meet the needs of) so many talented, Christ followers. While I felt immensely blessed, it quickly became more than I could handle.
During the month of October, I attended entrepreneurial workshops at my alma mater because I wanted to take Artfully Seeking to the “next level”. Throughout the process I was able to meet so many wonderful people and gain lots of business knowledge. Everything was going well, until I stated that my goal, for Artfully Seeking, was to become a non-profit. This turned tables and I quickly became discouraged when I was continually asked, “But how are you going to make money?”
In the midst of preparing for the final pitch, I went on a mission’s trip to Tanzania. I was anxious about leaving; I needed to plan, I needed to post, and yet, I wasn’t going to be able to do either. However, the break from the busyness of California life was much needed. I also realized, during my time hosting a VBS for missionary children, that the internet is not life and I shouldn’t get so wrapped up in it.
This trip, along with the fear of my upcoming pitch, which included no solid ideas of how Artfully Seeking would be profitable, are what discouraged me from continuing to pursue my passion. I also came to realize, as many of us do, that I was spending too much time on my phone. From looking for artists and photographs, to messaging, commenting, and liking others’ posts, I became consumed. I wasn’t present when I was with family or friends, nor could I respond, in a timely manner, to all the collaboration inquiries I’d been receiving.
And so, to be honest, I didn’t see the purpose of spending all this time, energy, and emotion on something that wouldn’t make money. But over these past few months, I’ve realized that this movement was never about me. And it was never about money.
There have been many people who’ve reached out saying they miss seeing Artfully Seeking’s presence online. Daily, I receive emails and notifications from people looking for ways to get involved. Our Instagram followers, number of tagged photos, and hashtag usage has continued to grow. But that’s not why I’m back.
I do not care about numbers.
Of course, the more people who are encouraged by our words and work the better, but stats are no longer on my mind. I also don’t want the main purpose of this to be money making. That is why, currently, there are no products for sale on our site. The goal of our community is to support artists and their creations. I will continue to feature craftsmen and women, in hopes that you will buy directly from them.
Fellowship is my number one priority; the most authentic fellowship that can be had through laptop and phone screens (which I pray turns into more). I do not know what the future of Artfully Seeking looks like, but right now I want to simplify it to the reason I started this journey: showcasing and supporting Christian artists.
I may post once a day, once a week, once a month, or once a year, but I want you to know that I am still here. However, it’s not about me and I honestly hope this will be the last time I am mentioned. If fact, I get extremely shy when someone greets me as the founder of Artfully Seeking.
I do this for you.
This is not a personal blog but a collaborative one.
I am not an artist though I appreciate art. Yet, I understand that with or without me, God is still going to use you, and the talents He has gifted you with, to make a difference for the Kingdom. I’m just along for the journey and to do my part in helping spread the Gospel.
You have been there for me and now I want to be there for you. I cannot thank you enough for your never-ending support and I hope this time around will be even more of a blessing for all of us. Together, I truly believe that we can change the world.