Reflections From My Older Self: On Writing

Words by Kaitlyn Hiltz // Photos by Adam Dahir

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When I engage in the act of writing, it often has this interesting way of transporting me to a slightly older, wiser, more experienced, and most compassionate version of myself. In doing so, it speaks to my present persona, inspires me, and gives me the vision & confidence to be ‘her’.

[‘Her’ as in the best version of myself.]

IMG_2529I write predominantly about what I’ve personally experienced, worked through, and/or have overcome by God’s grace. However, to say I’ve got it all down to complete and unfailing mastery would be a BIG, fat lie.

And yet – I refuse to tell ‘her’ to shut up. Even if all the things I aspire to are a work in progress, it doesn’t mean there’s not enough reason to still listen to that higher voice and tune in to the wisdom she’s giving me, right now.

Ironically, we can’t always see where we’re going when we try to connect the dots looking forward. We get so caught looking ahead that we often neglect where we’re at, and even worse – we forget what we’ve already walked through. Far more often, it’s in hindsight – in reflection, that our paths become so clearly illuminated.

I don’t think giving a healthy respect to your history means you’re living in the past. Rather:

“Looking back gives us the confidence
we need to move forward.”
[Krista Williams]

What if we saw ourselves as that older, wiser persona reflecting on ourselves in this present moment?

What would she say? What would she be proud of? What correction would she give? What would you admire about her? How would she inspire you?

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I also think the beauty of being a child of God, is being spoken to as you truly are; and as you’re fully called to be.

In breaking the analogy I’ve been crafting – not only is it your older, wiser self that’s trying to guide and direct you from a place of reflection, but it’s the Creator of the Universe, who’s created and affirmed YOU, and who will always call you by name. He often speaks to us through our intuition and conscience, as they’re the most familiar voices we have. If nothing else, let this be known – we change in the moments where we encounter not just who we are, but who He is.

We are [insert absolutely anything good & worthy here], because He is.

You know those little ‘checks’ you get? The little pauses that really make you think? It’s not just your sixth sense. It’s the Holy Spirit. It’s His divine direction.

We can [and I think we should] inspire and attune our minds through the gifts He’s given us. Whether your pull be to writing, speaking, painting, coaching, teaching, listening, creating, designing, working with our hands, stewarding finances, assisting, care-taking, leading, uplifting people, etc.

In Romans 11:29 (ESV), we’re told:

…the gifts & the calling of God are irrevocable”.

IMG_2537Said plainly – He doesn’t take back what He’s freely given and He doesn’t make mistakes. The Message translation puts it this way: “[they’re] under full warranty – never canceled, never rescinded.”

Does that mean we get to just receive and proceed with those gifts at personal will? No.

So then – what is our role in the gifts and calling?

Seek first [the kingdom]. Embrace it. Be content in the in-between. Innovate. Adjust. Succeed. Fail. Learn. Do over. Be humble. Keep going. Be still.

Our job is to receive and respond in unison to what He’s creating – when, where, and how ever He’s asking us to play a role. Sometimes that might even mean doing less than we’d like.

Because when we’re not always ‘doing’, we become a lot more dependent on Him, and a lot less reliant on our own good deeds.

When I start downloading the DNA of His nature through the process of writing and reflection, any concept of my own personal production becomes obsolete, as I choose to enter His presence in the right posture.

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Personally, writing fires me up because whether it’s pen to paper or key to screen,  it’s a place I can go to experience His presence. It’s an outlet where I can witness His natural order. It’s a fluid motion where I get to experience His divine partnership.

Not a platform. Not a position. A posture.

Which by definition, is an attitude; an approach to life. And it doesn’t come from initially knowing. It comes from being in the work of. It comes from seeking, reflecting, resting, and observing. It comes amidst “#theprocess”.

God shows up when we seek Him first and He does it in ways and places we could have never anticipated. Listen to that older, wiser inner pull – because He’s with you and He’s for you.

Now and then.


Meet the Writer:
Kaitlyn Hiltz

Kaitlyn is a communications professional and the owner of kvh. creative LLC – a freelance studio providing writing, editing, marketing, & branding services. She’s obsessed with catching the meeting point of sun & ocean on the horizon, and spends as much time as possible with her family, fiance, and friends. Join in on her website and Instagram, as she writes about discovering what it means to be whole, in mind + body + heart & soul.

Meet the Photographer:
Adam Dahir

Adam is a photographer and graphic designer located in Reno, NV (available worldwide). He a strong believer that there is such a beauty in the silver lining of where photography meets passion; which is where he likes to sit. He has a consistent passion for travel and for the people that fill this world, and he can’t wait to see where he ends up next. To view more of his work, please visit his website or Instagram.

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